Legend of Man; based on a true story of how Mike Kitsmiller outsmarted the NRC

Man... he's known as Mr. Kitsmiller. And here goes the legend. Warning... I need to tell this to my fellow colleagues. Wait.. huh? That Mr. was a man from Suriname. He was transported from a mysterious clan; by illegal drone pilots from the U.S. The drone was a Chinese made quad/rotocopter. It was manufactured in China via a copy of pirated 3d printer tech plans from the former NRC, or nationalist republic of Canada. The crew, know as 21 Pilots, dropped off Mike some 2015 miles away from Suriname to help celebrate the new year! At least that was the plan. Instead, Mr. Kitsmiller landed at an Alamand some 2012 miles away. Because of the dense overburden & fields of gold... Mike, despite being a primitive tribesman, made his way back to Tribe without any navigation. You know "Oh, you have to know about the homing skills of modern animals & whatnot"; the fact that they use their own magnetic indicators. Electromagnetic intuition, anyone?